All right is a lie, judging by how Sina looks, but Pel allows her the lie.
"I'm sorry I've been...absent. A lot. Dirthamen, and the plague, and...something else. But it's all excuses. I'm just a coward, Sina. I've been avoiding you because I'm afraid. Ir abelas. You deserve better friends than I, lethallan."
Sina doesn't have the energy to be angry or even upset; in fact, she'd nearly forgotten about the Temple of Dirthamen, so caught up in everything here. But now that Pel mentions it, she's intrigued. Rather than shush her or inquire further when Pel begins with her self-deprecation, Sina simply lays her head on the woman's shoulder with a small sigh through her nose. "What's wrong?" she asks quietly, her eyes closing.
Pel wraps an arm around Sina's shoulders, ducking her head. She presses a kiss to her temple.
"What we discovered at Dirthamen was horrible. They'd...they'd cut apart their high priest and kept him alive with Veilfire. So he was trapped, and tormented, all that time. Then I came back. And...I was attacked. I was attacked and beaten by someone who said the Inquisition's arresting elf mages, or something, and we can't be trusted. And I couldn't...I couldn't write up a report about the very worst of ancient elven magic we've ever seen."
Tears are knocked down to her cheeks when she blinks.
"Then Cyril got sick, and it seemed like everything was trying to kill us again. Just like it was...back in Clan Ashara. I thought it was a sign I needed to hide what happened at Dirthamen. I was so afraid--I'm still afraid if it gets out, if Seeker Cassandra learns of it, people will mistrust us even more. More people could be attacked like I was."
That was a lot of information to spill at once, but it's been bottled up for a month. She didn't want to worry Sina, but Dirthamen was Sina's project as much as hers. She should know.
Sina's serenity doesn't last too long. She lifts her head again as Pel speaks, her expression growing more and more concerned with the more she hears. "Who attacked you?" she asks in a hushed voice, gazing out at the garden, putting pieces together. She knows on a deep and intrinsic level that this is connected to not only Galadriel, but herself.
The news of the high priest is disturbing, but she'll get to it in a moment.
"A soldier." She wipes tears from her cheeks one at a time. "His superior rescued me. I still don't know what happened after that. I ran as fast as I could."
Sina watches her with quiet incredulity, making a mental note to investigate this further. That's the second soldier attacking one of theirs, yet the elves are who keep getting incarcerated.
She gently lifts a hand to brush her bony thumb against Pel's cheek, hoping to quell her tears. "We will not accept this as the way of things," she whispers gently, tucking a strand of silver hair behind the older woman's ear.
"I know it was taken care of. The superior was furious. That's all I really know. But I don't know what's..."
Stopping it from happening again, she wants to say, but that could be fear-mongering. And Cyril is handling it.
"I think Cyril was going to tell Leliana. He and Anders are the only ones who know, besides you. Don't tell Merrick, above all. If he finds out, it could ruin him."
At the mention of Merrick, Sina winces and gives a small nod. He's gotten in enough trouble lately, though she can't say she blames him for what he did. She was half-tempted to do the same.
"I've spoken to Leliana recently," she says quietly, "she seems to have our best interests at heart. I think going to her may be useful." She hasn't interacted much with Cyril, but knows him to be a good sort.
Sina shakes her head and rephrases. "Not punish him," she replies, "prevent the violence from breaking out in the first place. Help us become more accepted and unafraid in Skyhold."
"Merrick's judgment was given to us. That means we do have a level of autonomy here, though I don't know how much. Has anyone sat down with the Inquisition's leaders and negotiated that?"
With a small nod, Sina concedes. "I'm not certain," she admits, "I've been meaning to speak with Beleth about it. It couldn't hurt to has things out more clearly, and perhaps get some promises in writing. ...and give some, if necessary." Having come from a clan that actively killed humans on sight, Sina can understand that perhaps they're not as trustworthy to outsiders as they are to one another.
"I'd like to be involved," Sina says quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear with a self-conscious glance downward. "I'm First of my clan, and it's as much my responsibility as it is hers to ensure that things remain peaceful with the Dalish at Skyhold."
It's bits like that that remind Pel she is no longer a First of any clan. Still a Keeper, but all the People of the world are your clan, Sina had told her. Such things as this must be left to those leaders that remain to the Dalish. She gives Sina a wan smile.
"I think she would be happy for the help, if you'd prefer to talk to her yourself."
Sina doesn't seem to realize she's touched a nerve-- pragmatic as she can be, she's still very much a youth. "I'll mention it to her," she decides with a thoughtful smile, "I already spoke once to Sister Leliana. I believe we can discuss things diplomatically."
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"I'm sorry I've been...absent. A lot. Dirthamen, and the plague, and...something else. But it's all excuses. I'm just a coward, Sina. I've been avoiding you because I'm afraid. Ir abelas. You deserve better friends than I, lethallan."
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Rather than shush her or inquire further when Pel begins with her self-deprecation, Sina simply lays her head on the woman's shoulder with a small sigh through her nose.
"What's wrong?" she asks quietly, her eyes closing.
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"What we discovered at Dirthamen was horrible. They'd...they'd cut apart their high priest and kept him alive with Veilfire. So he was trapped, and tormented, all that time. Then I came back. And...I was attacked. I was attacked and beaten by someone who said the Inquisition's arresting elf mages, or something, and we can't be trusted. And I couldn't...I couldn't write up a report about the very worst of ancient elven magic we've ever seen."
Tears are knocked down to her cheeks when she blinks.
"Then Cyril got sick, and it seemed like everything was trying to kill us again. Just like it was...back in Clan Ashara. I thought it was a sign I needed to hide what happened at Dirthamen. I was so afraid--I'm still afraid if it gets out, if Seeker Cassandra learns of it, people will mistrust us even more. More people could be attacked like I was."
That was a lot of information to spill at once, but it's been bottled up for a month. She didn't want to worry Sina, but Dirthamen was Sina's project as much as hers. She should know.
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"Who attacked you?" she asks in a hushed voice, gazing out at the garden, putting pieces together. She knows on a deep and intrinsic level that this is connected to not only Galadriel, but herself.
The news of the high priest is disturbing, but she'll get to it in a moment.
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She gently lifts a hand to brush her bony thumb against Pel's cheek, hoping to quell her tears. "We will not accept this as the way of things," she whispers gently, tucking a strand of silver hair behind the older woman's ear.
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Stopping it from happening again, she wants to say, but that could be fear-mongering. And Cyril is handling it.
"I think Cyril was going to tell Leliana. He and Anders are the only ones who know, besides you. Don't tell Merrick, above all. If he finds out, it could ruin him."
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"I've spoken to Leliana recently," she says quietly, "she seems to have our best interests at heart. I think going to her may be useful." She hasn't interacted much with Cyril, but knows him to be a good sort.
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Who is quite a bit like her mother, handled this entire situation with such care that the rest of the Dalish were probably barely aware of it?
"Beleth might be able to continue the discussion herself, actually. I'll talk to her about it. She is our Keeper's daughter."
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"I think she would be happy for the help, if you'd prefer to talk to her yourself."
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"I'll mention it to her," she decides with a thoughtful smile, "I already spoke once to Sister Leliana. I believe we can discuss things diplomatically."
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